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Chicago Divorce Lawyer > Blog > Divorce > Woman Writes into Chicago Tribune Advice Column with Empowering Message about “Gray Divorce”

Woman Writes into Chicago Tribune Advice Column with Empowering Message about “Gray Divorce”


By now, many Chicago residents and couples have become familiar with the term “gray divorce”. For those who are not familiar with the trending new concept, a gray divorce is a divorce that takes place between a couple later in life, usually after 50 years old and after having been married for quite some time – even decades perhaps. For individuals who are married and who are of an advanced age, especially if they have been with their spouse for a long period of time and have raised children and acquired assets while building a life together, divorce may seem like a daunting task, even when it is clear that the marriage has become irreparably broken. But gray divorce does not have to be miserable for everyone, and a divorcing individual that is advanced in age certainly can live a happy and full life after the dissolution of marriage process is over. In fact, a newly-divorced woman recently wrote into the Chicago Tribune’s Ask Amy column to share her experience with gray divorce, and in doing so provided a powerful message to those thinking about starting the divorce process in their later years.

A Powerful Message about Gray Divorce for Those Considering It

Earlier this spring in April, a reader wrote into Ask Amy to share her experiences with a gray divorce. “Been There” wrote into the Chicago Tribune advice column, “I was 70 years old and in a 48-year marriage when my husband and I separated. At my insistence, we were seeing a couples counselor. When it became apparent that my husband wasn’t interested in saving the marriage, we separated. We had been married for more than 52 years when we finally divorced in 2019.” “Been There” went on to elaborate, “I stayed in that marriage because I was scared that I couldn’t make it on my own financially, but I did. I’ve learned so much since the divorce and I don’t regret my decision for one second.” Concluding with an encouraging – and understanding – message, “Been There” declared, “This isn’t the solution for everyone, and I’m not advocating for separation or divorce, but I’d like to encourage any woman who is miserable in her marriage to seek a way to make it better. If that doesn’t work, remember that you may be stronger than you think.” Clearly Ask Amy did not have to provide much in the way of advice to “Been There”, as she is clearly comfortable with her choice. However, Ask Amy confirmed that “Been There” is “part of a growing trend” of gray divorces, and noted that although gray divorces may come with “consequences”, she agreed that we are often stronger than we think.

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