Switch to ADA Accessible Theme
Close Menu
Chicago Divorce Lawyer > Blog > Prenuptial Agreements > New York Times Advice Columnist Eases Concerns of Bride-to-Be Faced with Prenup Request by Fiancé, are They Correct?

New York Times Advice Columnist Eases Concerns of Bride-to-Be Faced with Prenup Request by Fiancé, are They Correct?


There is no doubt that in Chicago, generally speaking, the concept of fiancé asking their soon-to-be-betrothed to sign a prenuptial agreement is thought to be off-putting. In America, typically we see prenuptial agreements as somewhat of a taboo subject for engaged couples to discuss, believing that such a conversation dampens the romance and fizzles the trust and love that those in a relationship have for one another. It is no wonder that we think the request by one fiancé to another for a prenuptial agreement is a red flag, when we often see prenuptial agreements as a sticking point in a relationship in romantic comedies, soap operas, and television dramas. However, the reality is that prenuptial agreements do not have to be a romance-killer and may just be a practical step before getting married for many couples, especially if there are a lot of assets involved or children from another marriage. In fact, the practical answer to a soon-to-be-bride’s questions about her fiancé’s request for a prenup was put to a New York Times advice columnist, and the answer may surprise readers.

In May, 2023, a bride-to-be wrote into the New York Times with a heavy heart and mind. She explained that she had been dating her boyfriend for three years when he told her that they should get married and that he wanted a prenuptial agreement. With mixed feelings of happiness over the proposal, but confusion over the suggestion of the prenuptial agreement, the bride-to-be wrote, “I have always paid my way in our relationship, so I was surprised by this. He has more money than I do, but it’s not exorbitant, “Succession”-type wealth. I agreed to his request because I was taught to be financially independent, but now I resent him for it. I’m nervous about what’s to come rather than excited to get married. Can I push back on this?”

In response to the nervous and put-off bride-to-be’s questions, the New York Times advice columnist responded, “About 40 percent of marriages end in divorce. That’s scary! So, whether your boyfriend managed to save $50,000 or inherit $50 million…I understand his impulse. Asking to protect his premarital assets and divide those you create together, which is largely in keeping with divorce law, doesn’t make him a doomsayer about your relationship any more than buying fire insurance makes him an arsonist. Stuff happens—about 40 percent of the time.”

A Chicago Prenuptial Agreement Lawyer’s Take

So, is the New York Times advice columnist correct in that a prenuptial agreement should not in-and-of-itself be a relationship killer? The answer is yes. Prenuptial agreements can provide certainty to both parties, and can actually protect each party and save money and time in the case that the couple later divorces. Prenuptial agreements should not be a “bad word” and, in fact, can be very helpful, especially when one person in the relationship has a high-net worth (or a lot of liabilities), and if there are other complex issues, such as children from a previous relationship.

Help with Your Prenuptial Agreement in Chicago

If you are interested in speaking with an experienced Chicago prenuptial agreements lawyer, contact the experienced Chicago lawyers at Birnbaum Gelfman Sharma & Arnoux, LLC. The experienced Chicago prenuptial agreements lawyers at Birnbaum Gelfman Sharma & Arnoux, LLC are here to listen to your concerns and advise you of your rights, options, and next steps. Contact Birnbaum Gelfman Sharma & Arnoux, LLC and speak to an experienced Chicago prenuptial agreements lawyer about your prenuptial agreement today.



Facebook Twitter LinkedIn