Will “Sleep Divorce” Save My Marriage? The Rise of a Sleep Strategy to Help Couples Stay Together
A recently publicized strategy, with possibly old roots, has become a topic of conversation in the marriage and divorce world. “Sleep Divorce” is a practical and science-backed concept to help couples stay together, despite their issues with sleep. According to Forbes online, the term “Sleep Divorce” refers to “the trend of couples choosing to sleep in separate beds despite living under the same roof.” While this may sound severe, couples sleeping in separate beds is not really a new concept, as the rise of the shared bed only came into vogue around the 1950’s.
Forbes explains that sleep, and especially quality of sleep, may have a bigger impact on married couples than they realize. Some of the sleep-based issues that couples may have with each other include loud snoring, different sleep schedules (often occurring when one spouse is an early riser or night owl), restlessness in bed (for example, if one spouse or partner has restless leg syndrome or tends to toss and turn), and even medical issues, such as sleep apnea, which comes along with both loud snoring and potentially irregular pattern of breathing. When couples are faced with these sleep issues, they may have issues in their marriage, a 2014 study published in Social Psychological and Personality Science, cited by Forbes, underscored. In fact, according to that study, “…even just one partner’s poor night of sleep can lead to increased conflicts. Following restless nights, couples reported more disputes, with a noticeable decrease in positive interactions.”
The solution to sleep issues between married couples: “sleep divorce.” The first “sleep divorce strategy” suggested by Forbes, is one that is intended to create a long-lost “spark” between married couples. Forbes suggests that during the weekdays, couples sleep separately. However, on weekends, couples can use the time-off to reconnect, and even perhaps have regular weekend “sleep-ins” together. “Designating weekends for sleeping together can serve as a mini-reunion, a time to cherish the closeness and intimacy of sharing a bed,” Forbes explains. The second “sleep divorce” strategy suggested by the magazine is to have shared “pre-sleep rituals” before setting off separately to dream land in separate beds. These rituals can be as simple as watching television together or chatting about the day, or couples can get more involved and implement a routine involving yoga or joint meditation. “This shared ritual not only provides an opportunity to bond but also ensures that both partners are mentally prepared for rest,” advised Forbes.
Where to Turn when Sleeping Apart is Just Not Enough
While “sleep divorce” may be enough to repair some couples’ marriages when on the rocks, it is not a workable solution in every marriage. In Chicago, if you are seeking a divorce or you have questions about the divorce process in Chicago, the experienced Chicago divorce lawyers at Birnbaum Gelfman Sharma & Arnoux, LLC are here to help. Contact Birnbaum Gelfman Sharma & Arnoux, LLC and speak to an experienced Chicago divorce lawyer about your case today.
Source:
theguardian.com/books/2019/aug/16/rolled-over-why-did-married-couples-stop-sleeping-in-twin-beds#:~:text=The%20proclamation%20may%20have%20proved,the%20vitality%20of%20the%20stronger
