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Chicago Divorce Lawyer > Blog > Divorce > How To Break The News About Your Chicago Divorce To Your Kids – Tips For Parents Who Are Going Through The Chicago Divorce Process

How To Break The News About Your Chicago Divorce To Your Kids – Tips For Parents Who Are Going Through The Chicago Divorce Process


Without question, a divorce can impact not only the lives of the two individuals in the marriage, but also family, friends, communities, and, perhaps most of all, the couple’s children. Depending on their age, children may or may not have heard about the concept of divorce, and they likely have their own ideas and thoughts about what divorce means and how it will change their parents and their life as a whole. While divorce is hardly ever an easy subject for any divorcing couple to talk about with their adult friends and family members, it is an even trickier topic to discuss with young children. What, then, is the best way to bring up the difficult and often emotional topic of a divorce with your children? Here are some tips that may help parents involved in the Chicago divorce process broach this subject and open up a conversation with their kids:

  • Don’t disparage your soon-to-be ex-spouse (the child’s other parent). Divorce is hard enough on children and there is nothing constructive about unnecessarily disparaging the child’s other parent, even if you and that person are ready to split. Keep conversations about the other parent (your soon to be ex-spouse) neutral and remember that that person is still an important person in the child’s life;
  • Be open to questions from your child. Experts suggest that conversations about separation (and divorce) with your child should be a “two-way street.” Allow your child to ask questions and ask them if they have any. Also, allowing your child to cry is important in the divorce process.
  • Give your child time to process. The fact and the natural consequences of divorce may not be easy for a child to process, and the child may not even know how to react or what to think, initially. After hearing news about their parents’ divorce, it may take time for a child to fully comprehend the meaning of their parents’ divorce, and it may be awhile until they actually react to the news. Your child may need extra attention during this time.
  • Don’t shake-up the child’s regular routine. Experts also suggest that a child’s regular routine should be maintained during the divorce process. A child is already going to go through major changes in their life as the divorce process goes on, so keeping as much stability in the child’s life as possible is key.
  • Engage professionals. It may be time to speak with a counselor or child psychologist to set up treatment with your child. Divorce can be very difficult to process and a professional may be able to help them process the divorce and use healthy coping skills to get through it. 

In addition to these tips, it is always important to speak to an experienced divorce lawyer about the divorce process, and to have clarity about your divorce and the next steps before speaking with your child. If you are in Chicago, the skilled and experienced Chicago divorce lawyers at Birnbaum Gelfman Sharma & Arnoux, LLC are here to help. Contact the law offices of Birnbaum Gelfman Sharma & Arnoux, LLC and speak to a lawyer about your Chicago divorce today.

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